This page is for people who work with couples – counselors, ministers, priests, rabbis, therapists, mediators and such. You do not necessarily need to be certified in this process to be able to use it with couples. You do need to become familiar with the elements of the process to work effectively with couples.
In conjunction with the Family Ministries Office of the Archdiocese of Chicago, we have created a “downloadable” training program that you may purchase and complete independently.
Many people interested in this process are able to use the program for themselves or to work with a minister, coach, or therapist. Suggested steps to follow are:
1. Read the book, Should I Stay or Go? by Lee Raffel
2. Meet with the couple to determine what direction they would like to go. Do they want to try to save the marriage? Are they willing to enter into a short term agreement using the Controlled Separation Guidelines and Contract as listed in the book?
3. Make a copy of the contract in the book and begin to work on it with the couple. This may take a few sessions and it may not proceed exactly in the order listed on the contract. Some couples like to address things in a different order.
This is the couple’s contract, they will decide what works for them. You serve as a coach and facilitator of the process. Help them have thoughtful, fruitful and honest conversations. Respect where they are at in their relationship.
If things arise that indicate the need for professional help, please be sure to refer the couple out for that help.
Hi, I met Elsie Radke at Smart Marriages a few weeks ago when I attended her workshop on CS. I practice in Naperville at Samaritan Interfaith Counseling Center, and I would be interested in achieving certification, since I deal with couples facing this ambivalence. I’d like to have details on how to go about this. Thanks for your response, Monica Guilhot, LCSW
By: Monica Guilhot, LCSW on July 29, 2009
at 3:12 pm
This page is called Certification, but it does not seem to explain any steps in getting certified, who to contact if interested, or other basic information in moving forward in the process.
By: confused in DC on January 28, 2010
at 4:35 pm
You are correct. A few years ago we had in place a certification process for CS. Since then, we provide a workshop at Smart Marriages each year that seems to fill the bill for applying CS to couples work. Many have found that this is mostly a common sense process. If a person has training in mediation or conflict resolution, or arbitration or therapy, or pastoral ministry, they pretty much have the skill set to help coach or guide a couple through this process.
Please let me know if you need to know more.
Thank you for your interest.
Elsie Radtke
By: Elsie on March 13, 2010
at 6:02 pm